Money and trust · 2 min read
Navigating dishonesty and broken trust
Lies, broken promises and secrecy are some of the most hurtful parts of loving someone with an addiction. Understanding why they happen doesn't make them acceptable, but it can help you decide how to respond.
Why dishonesty happens
People experiencing addiction may hide their use out of shame, fear of consequences, or a wish to avoid conflict. Over time, secrecy can become a habit that is hard to break.
Your feelings are valid
It's natural to feel betrayed, foolish or angry. You don't need to pretend otherwise.
Respond to behaviour, not promises
It's reasonable to base your trust on what someone does consistently over time, rather than on what they say in the moment.
Rebuilding trust
If your loved one is working towards change, trust is usually rebuilt gradually. Small, kept commitments matter more than big gestures.
Key considerations
- Constantly checking up on someone can be exhausting and may not change the outcome.
- You can decide how much you are willing to rely on someone, without cutting them off.
- Counselling for couples or families may help once someone is in recovery.
Suggested next steps
- Notice what you need to feel safe and secure right now.
- Read about supporting someone in recovery.
- Talk to people who understand through a family support group.
Further reading from trusted sources
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