Conversations · 2 min read
When someone refuses help
It's painful to watch someone you love struggle and turn down help. You may feel powerless. While you can't make an adult accept treatment, you still have choices about how you respond and how you look after yourself.
Readiness changes over time
People often move back and forth between not seeing a problem, feeling unsure, and being ready to act. A refusal today doesn't mean a refusal forever.
Keep the door open
Calm, consistent messages that you care and that support is available can matter, even if they don't seem to have an effect at the time.
Respond to positive moments
Noticing and acknowledging times when your loved one is sober, honest or makes a positive choice can be more effective than focusing only on problems.
Look after your own life
You are allowed to carry on with your own relationships, work and interests. Doing so isn't giving up on them.
Key considerations
- Adults generally have the right to make their own decisions, even unwise ones, unless they lack mental capacity.
- If someone is at risk of serious harm, urgent services may be able to help. See our urgent help page.
- Interventions based on confrontation can damage trust and are not generally recommended.
Suggested next steps
- Read about helping versus enabling.
- Make a personal support plan for yourself.
- Talk to a family group about how others have coped.
Further reading from trusted sources
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