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I need help setting boundaries
Setting boundaries with someone you love can feel uncomfortable, even unkind. In reality, clear boundaries can protect your wellbeing and make relationships more honest.
Understanding what's happening
A boundary is a decision about what you will and won't do, not a rule for someone else's behaviour. Good boundaries are specific, realistic and something you are prepared to follow through on calmly.
Things to consider
- Start with what matters most to you, such as safety, money, your home or your time.
- Expect some pushback. That doesn't mean the boundary is wrong.
- Boundaries work best when they're stated calmly, not in the middle of an argument.
- Where children or vulnerable people are involved, safety boundaries come first.
Possible next steps
- Use the boundary-setting worksheet to draft one boundary.
- Decide what you will do if it isn't respected, and make sure you can follow through.
- Choose a calm moment to share it.
- Get support from people who can help you stick with it.
Read more
Setting healthy boundaries
What boundaries are, why they help, and how to hold them with care.
Read Direction · 2 min readHelping versus enabling
Understanding the difference between support that helps and support that shields someone from consequences.
Read Direction · 2 min readManaging financial requests
Thinking clearly about money when someone you love keeps asking.
ReadTrusted UK support
Al-Anon Family Groups UK & Eire
Details checked Oct 2026Support groups for anyone whose life is, or has been, affected by someone else's drinking. Meetings are held in person and online, and there is a confidential helpline.
- Who they help:
- Families, Partners, Parents, Friends
- Type of support:
- Support groups, Helpline
- Coverage:
- UK and Republic of Ireland
- Availability:
- Helpline 10am to 10pm, every day of the year. The helpline cannot return calls, so please don't leave a message.
Families Anonymous
Details checked Oct 2026Self-help groups for families and friends of people who use drugs or have related behavioural problems. Meetings run in person and online.
- Who they help:
- Families, Parents, Partners, Friends
- Type of support:
- Support groups, Helpline
- Coverage:
- UK-wide
- Availability:
- Helpline staffed daily, 1pm to 4pm and 6pm to 9pm
Adfam
Details checked Oct 2026A national charity working to improve support for families affected by drugs, alcohol and gambling. Its website includes information for families and help finding local family support services.
- Who they help:
- Families, Parents, Partners
- Type of support:
- Information, Local services
- Coverage:
- UK-wide
- Availability:
- Online information. Adfam does not run a helpline.
Finding further human support
Family support groups can be a helpful place to practise boundaries and hear how others have held them.
If anyone is in immediate danger, call 999. Addiction & Us is not an emergency service.