You chose
I don't know how to help anymore
Reaching the point where nothing seems to work is exhausting. Feeling stuck doesn't mean you've failed. It often means you've been carrying a great deal for a long time.
Understanding what's happening
Many families try everything they can think of: talking, pleading, rescuing, stepping back. Change in addiction is driven by the person themselves, often with professional support. What you can influence is how you respond, what you're willing to do, and how well supported you are.
Things to consider
- It's possible to care deeply about someone and still stop doing things that aren't helping either of you.
- Some forms of help, like covering debts or making excuses, can unintentionally shield someone from consequences.
- Approaches that focus on calm communication and positive reinforcement are generally more helpful than confrontation.
- Your own exhaustion is a signal worth listening to.
Possible next steps
- Read 'Helping versus enabling' to explore which kinds of support feel right.
- Choose one small change you could make this week.
- Talk to people who understand, through a family group or helpline.
- Write a personal support plan for yourself.
Read more
Helping versus enabling
Understanding the difference between support that helps and support that shields someone from consequences.
Read Direction · 2 min readWhen someone refuses help
What you can still do when your loved one isn't ready to change.
Read Understanding · 2 min readBoundaries and personal responsibility
Understanding what is, and isn't, yours to carry.
ReadTrusted UK support
Adfam
Details checked Oct 2026A national charity working to improve support for families affected by drugs, alcohol and gambling. Its website includes information for families and help finding local family support services.
- Who they help:
- Families, Parents, Partners
- Type of support:
- Information, Local services
- Coverage:
- UK-wide
- Availability:
- Online information. Adfam does not run a helpline.
Al-Anon Family Groups UK & Eire
Details checked Oct 2026Support groups for anyone whose life is, or has been, affected by someone else's drinking. Meetings are held in person and online, and there is a confidential helpline.
- Who they help:
- Families, Partners, Parents, Friends
- Type of support:
- Support groups, Helpline
- Coverage:
- UK and Republic of Ireland
- Availability:
- Helpline 10am to 10pm, every day of the year. The helpline cannot return calls, so please don't leave a message.
Families Anonymous
Details checked Oct 2026Self-help groups for families and friends of people who use drugs or have related behavioural problems. Meetings run in person and online.
- Who they help:
- Families, Parents, Partners, Friends
- Type of support:
- Support groups, Helpline
- Coverage:
- UK-wide
- Availability:
- Helpline staffed daily, 1pm to 4pm and 6pm to 9pm
Carers UK
Details checked Oct 2026Information and advice for people who look after a family member or friend, including practical support with rights, money and wellbeing.
- Who they help:
- Families, Partners, Parents
- Type of support:
- Helpline, Information
- Coverage:
- UK-wide
- Availability:
- Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm
Finding further human support
Local family support services exist in many areas. Adfam's website and the NHS can help you find what's available near you.
If anyone is in immediate danger, call 999. Addiction & Us is not an emergency service.